


Saving Him

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angry Kylo Ren, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Poe Dameron, Dominant Kylo Ren, First Order Poe Dameron, First Time, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is a Mess, M/M, POV Kylo Ren, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Protective Poe Dameron, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Top Kylo Ren, Virgin Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:25:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: For the prompt: “Kylo Ren, reeling from the consequences of years of bad choices, is thrown back in time because of [insert handwavey Force reason here] and has the chance to manipulate the past – either because he becomes or can influence his younger self... who is still in love with - or could meet and fall in love with - a young Republic Academy cadet, Poe Dameron. But changing things can have unforeseen effects.”





	Saving Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perlaret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perlaret/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

He was Supreme Leader now. So why did it feel like he had lost just about everything?

Because even retreating back to his throne room on the Supremacy, he already felt like he had lost just about everything. There was the scavenger, perhaps the closest thing he’d had to a friend in quite some time, who had rejected his offer to rule with him. There was Skywalker —

Skywalker.

Even that knowledge was enough to make hatred all but bubble up inside him. Skywalker. The bastard had tried to kill him. And for what? Because he was somehow evil? How was he considered evil? He had cost him just about everything, including Poe...

Kylo’s heart ached thinking about it. Poe. Somehow, that was one of the worst losses of all. He could still remember Poe — happy, optimistic, his smile bright. He had never noticed Ben, not for who he was, at least, but Ben had loved him...

No. He couldn’t afford to think about it. Not now. He had to go back. Back to his flagship, back to the First Order. His empire. (If the Rebellion could somehow be reborn today, why not the Empire?)

So he went back. He didn’t answer any questions. He went back, and he didn’t dare to go to sleep at first. Sleep would bring the images of so many he had lost, and —

It didn’t stop him from falling asleep.

***

It was when he woke up that he realized where he was. In the hut where he had woken up to his uncle’s ignited green lightsaber. He had been so scared. Now, waking up, he was scared for a different reason — and angry. Why was he here? Of all the places to be, why here? Was it a dream?

It had to be.

Footsteps. It was Luke, he knew it was Luke. That had to be the night that Luke had decided to kill him. But he wasn’t going to play the scared eighteen year old boy anymore. He wasn’t a joke, wasn’t an outcast, wasn’t a failure. He had lost his lightsaber duel to the scavenger and didn’t have the satisfaction of killing his uncle, but he was stronger now. He was the Jedi Killer nonetheless. He hadn’t lost his touch. He was fine.

He was as strong as Darth Vader, and finally he would have the chance to prove it.

He drew his lightsaber. A blue lightsaber this time around, with no crossguards — Kylo made a note to change the crystal color. He would have to.

Luke entered, his lightsaber not ignited. Odd. So he wasn’t thinking of killing him in his sleep just yet. Good sign? Kylo supposed.

“Hello, Skywalker.” Kylo said.

”Ben,” Luke said. He stepped forward. “I thought there was something wrong.”

”You thought I was dangerous. You have no idea how right you were.”

Kylo reached out with the Force and pushed Luke to the ground. It should have been the end of it, but Kylo could swear he heard the same voice in his mind that he had since he was a child — Snoke’s voice.

_Kill him._

Kylo wanted to. Stars willing. But he would not give into Snoke either. The man who had hurt him for so long. The man who had used him. He hated them both, hated them both with the sort of hatred that he couldn’t say he had when he was eighteen. When he was eighteen he’d trusted and loved his uncle, and had been scared of Snoke.

Now he wanted them both to burn.

Luke looked up at him, calmly. “Going to kill me, Ben?”

”It’s your punishment.”

”Ben. Please.” No begging, only reasoning. “Whatever I did, does the punishment really fit the crime?”

”It does. But before I do, I have a question for you. How could you do this to me?”

“I thought there was something wrong with you.”

 "You got your wish, uncle."

"Ben -- " Luke looked suddenly vulnerable and sad. Kylo couldn't say he expected that. "I made a horrible mistake. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

Kylo didn't know what exactly he expected. It wasn't this, he knew that much. But he said, "Thank you, Uncle", quickly, before taking off, leaving his uncle behind. 

***

Even heading from the huts to Poe’s house, Kylo couldn’t help but feel a renewed sense of confidence. He hadn’t managed to kill Luke Skywalker — though he would amend that soon enough — but he still managed to defeat him nonetheless. He had gotten answers out of him, and even a sort of apology. And now...now he would leave with the man he should have left with in the first place.

Poe Dameron. He could still remember being eighteen and awkward, where Poe was cool and beautiful and kind, everything that Ben could never be. Kylo wasn’t a boy any longer, though. He was a man. And he would show Poe Dameron such.

He knocked on the door. Poe answered it, and Kylo couldn’t help but be overwhelmed seeing the face of twenty-one-year-old Poe. He looked so much more innocent. So much more untouched by worry.

“Ben? Are you all right?”

 _You have no idea,_ Kylo wanted to say. The last time around, he had gone to Poe’s house, still smelling of smoke, to say goodbye. He hadn’t said he loved him, because somehow he couldn’t find the words. But he could find them now.

“I had a rough time.” And that was putting it mildly.

“You definitely look it,” Poe said. “Come on. Come in.”

Kylo did. Even looking at the inside of Poe’s house, he saw that Poe hadn’t really changed the interior. There were still some holos on the wall, some model X-wings and A-wings and Y-wings.

“What happened?” Poe said.

“My uncle thought of killing me.”

Poe’s mouth went slack with shock. Then, “He wouldn’t, would he?”

”He came into my hut with the intent of killing me. Because he thought there was something wrong with me.” And even saying it out loud, Kylo swore his voice cracked. 

“Then we have to run. Or fight him.”

”Running’s the best idea. Poe...there’s something I need to tell you, before we go.”

”What?”

Kylo didn’t say, exactly, that he loved him. He didn’t have to. He only told Poe the truth, that he desired him, that he needed him, and he didn’t need to say anymore because Poe said, “Ben...I feel it too.”

They made it to the ship, and it was when they were in hyperspace that Poe said, “Where do we go?”

”The Unknown Regions,” Kylo said. “I have some unfinished business.” And even telling Poe about Snoke, he already felt like he was about to crumble. He didn’t tell Poe about the rest, because how was he supposed to explain it? But he could remember the electric shock and Snoke’s lecturing. And then there was the fact that Snoke was wrong; Kylo had killed him. And if they drew close enough to Snoke...

Kylo could kill him. And he and Poe could rule the galaxy, make things how they wanted to be. First, though, they had to kill Snoke.

Hyperspace would take a while. There was a lot that Kylo wanted to do. There was a lot he could do. Anything to solidify the fact that Poe was effectively his now.

And even that gave him a certain thrill. Poe was his. As it should have been from the start. Under Snoke, he had to limit himself but here he could simply fulfill what he wanted...

”Poe...there’s something that I wanted to try.”

"What?”

“I’ve never kissed you before.” Kylo swallowed; he wasn’t used to feeling shy. Vulnerable, yes, but not shy. There was a difference. All the difference in the galaxy.

“Kiss me then,” Poe said, softly, and Kylo did so.

Even kissing Poe — Kylo hadn’t expected his lips to be so soft, or to taste so sweet, but then again, that which was denied to you often tasted the sweetest, didn’t it? He felt a moan escape him despite himself, and Poe drew him back into the kiss. They kissed as fiercely as they both fought, and when Kylo felt Poe’s mouth open during the kiss, it didn’t feel strange; instead, it just felt right.

They drew away, and Kylo looked Poe up and down hungrily. He didn’t just want to kiss Poe; he wanted Poe body and soul.

"May I?" he said. 

Poe nodded. 

They used lubricant. Kylo doubted he wanted to tear Poe, just take him. Have him. He looked down at Poe, whose eyes were wide, vibrant; he could all but memorize those eyes.

”Ready?” he said.

“Please,” Poe said.

Kylo entered the first finger, and hissed in relief. It wasn’t the same as actually being inside Poe, but the heat was overwhelmingly good. He could only imagine what it would be like actually being inside his lover, making him cry out. Poe gasped, begged, and his begging was intoxicating as Kylo found just the spot to make him beg for more. Kylo slicked his erection, making sure to all but tease it out.

“You want this, don’t you?” Kylo’s voice was a low growl. “Me, filling you up. Your body, so tight and perfect, accommodating me.”

”Please.”

Entering Poe — kriff, it was just so warm and tight and all-encompassing, and there was this feeling like nothing in the galaxy could stop him. He could prove something to Poe — he was a man, a hot-blooded, vibrant man, and he could satisfy Poe despite being a virgin himself. They both were. Poe gasped and his eyes widened as Kylo entered him again and again, and he carefully (was he doing this right?) manipulated Poe’s own shaft. Judging by Poe’s moans and murmurs, he was doing well, at least.

Kylo closed his eyes. Stars, being inside Poe felt so good. He opened his eyes just as Poe came into his hand, and he pushed, so help him, he pushed deeper and deeper into that heat until he’d released inside Poe.

Hyperspace was still outside. Kylo pulled out, and lay beside Poe, naked and spent. Now that Kylo’s lust had passed over like a storm, he felt suddenly and unexpectedly lonely. Even Poe getting up to check on the status of their hyperdrive travel made Kylo tug lightly at him, urgently, urging him to lay down with him. Poe kissed him more tenderly before going up to the cockpit to check on their destination.

Poe returned, and said, “We’re almost to the Unknown Regions. Are you okay?”

Kylo nodded.

Poe lay there with him and drew him into his arms. He kissed his head lightly. “I’m not going to leave you,” he said. “No matter what happens.”

Stars willing, Kylo knew it was true. He had just been lonely for too long. Far too long. He needed Poe’s presence with him, because he had just been so blastedly lonely. He couldn’t say he was used to the matter of company.

***

They were caught in the tractor beam of the Supremacy later, after they emerged from hyperspace, and as Kylo and Poe dressed, Kylo stared out balefully at the ship. This was the other man who had taken everything from him. The other man who had done so much wrong to him. He forced himself to remember how Snoke had shocked him with lightning, degraded him verbally, hated him.

And from there, it was easier. Easier to hate Snoke. To want to punish him. Thoughts of homicide were too easy now. And unlike his mother...

Unlike his mother, Snoke hadn’t believed in him at one point.

The guards brought them before Snoke, and Kylo Ren looked into the face of the man who had dominated him for so long. The man who had humiliated him. The man who had done so much to hurt him, Kylo didn't even know where to start. 

They confiscated his lightsaber. That was just a temporary setback. Even as Snoke talked, Kylo focused on turning the lightsaber to the right. Snoke himself had taught him that trick long ago, mind over matter. 

And even watching as the blade impaled Snoke, Kylo Ren could not help but smile on the inside. Even battling the Praetorian guards was nothing more than a temporary setback. Only Poe getting injured shook Ren's confidence. 

They treated his injuries. And Kylo spoke to Poe after. "I don't just want to be Ben Solo."

"Who do you want to be?"

"Well," Kylo said, "Someone has to take the Supreme Leader's place. And I want you to go with me."

"Me?" Poe looked flabbergasted. "How?"

"The First Order was originally created to preserve order. But a power-hungry madman desecrated his own beliefs. It's not too late to turn it back to what it used to be." 

Poe stared at him as if he had never seen him before. Then, "Ben...you don't know what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying." He couldn't help but think of the scavenger. Like her, Poe was still holding on. Though perhaps he didn't even know.

"What happened to you? Who are you?"

"I am who I was always meant to be."

"No." Poe said. "You're not that man. You're a good man." He walked forward, with some difficulty considering the shoulder wound that one of the Praetorian guards had given him, and reached up to touch Kylo's face. Kylo relaxed into it despite himself; he couldn't say that he had been touched like this in quite some time. 

"I'm...not a good man." 

"Yes, you are."

"Then you don't know me."

"Then who are you?"

Kylo took a deep breath. "I have many names," he said. "Jedi Killer, warrior in red. But you can call me Kylo Ren."

"Did you take that name?" Poe said.

"I had to," Kylo said. "Ben Solo was weak. He deserves to be dead."

"Come with me."

"Why don't you join me?" Kylo said. And already, he wanted this so badly. So badly that he couldn't stand it. The idea of having to torture Poe again...could he do it? "Maybe we can stop running. And we can carve out our own destiny."

_Let the past die..._

"Rule with me," Kylo said. "By my side." The next words slipped out despite himself. "Marry me, Poe."

"I can't," Poe said. 

Kylo let Poe go. And when one of the Knights of Ren tried to stop him, Kylo shook his head. "Leave him. He's...earned this." 

And he knew that more than anything, he would always love Poe. 

***

Time passed. Months, to be more precise. Kylo set up the First Order, making tweaks here and there. He could still remember some of the things that he had disapproved of, some of the things that he had done. So he made tweaks. The stormtrooper army was swapped out with a clone army. The Starkiller project was shut down. Not that it stopped the Resistance from attacking him. The fact that Poe was on the opposite side, though...

That hurt. The fact that the man he loved had betrayed him was one of the worst things that could possibly happen. So it was there that the tantrums slipped out. Something destroyed here. Hux slammed around here. Things like that. 

And then there was his mother. After all this time, he still loved her. It had been one of those factors that kept him from firing on the  _Raddus_ when he so desperately needed to. He could only hope that he wouldn't have to go up against her. Not again. 

He couldn't help but be surprised when Poe confronted him personally in his throne room, long after Hux had been killed, long after all his troops were devastated. He thought he heard familiar voices, Jess' and Snap's, saying, "You can't possibly do this, Poe" and "You'll be killed." 

"I have to save him," Poe said. "I love him."

And the fact that he said it left Kylo's heart lifting even despite himself. In a way, that's what he needed to be reminded of all along. 

 _Do you really think it's a fairytale?_ a part of him said.  _Do you think it's a lot like Revan and Bastila, where the Dark Sider goes home with the one they love, and all is well?_

Kylo didn't know. He only knew that he needed this. Yearned for it.

Poe entered, and in that moment, he was so proud and beautiful that he took Kylo's breath away. He wore the mask still -- no one would take an eighteen year old boy seriously when he first started out, and no one would now. And then there was the matter of his emotions. He wore them too easily on his sleeve, even now. 

"Ben." Poe said softly, and Kylo felt himself flinch despite himself. It was a good thing that the mask was there to conceal his emotions. There were things that no one was meant to see. 

"Ben Solo is dead, Dameron," Kylo said. "And he deserves to be." 

He swore that Jessika Pava stared in disbelief; she obviously hadn't been told. 

Poe continued. "Most of the First Order is decimated," he said. "I don't want you to be another victim."

"It's too late." Even months seemed like he had been fighting this war for far too long. 

"No," Poe said. "Never." Silence. "I miss you, Ben. Come home." 

 _What if you made things right this time?_ a part of him said.  _What if you left?_

Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, took off his helmet and let it fall to the floor. Poe's hand was outstretched, beckoning to him.

Kylo took it. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
